The Ghost of Clothing Past II: As the Deer Pants

"As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God."
--Psalm 42:1

[Listen to this as you read]

If this psalm was any inspiration to me during my high school years, then I sorely misinterpreted it. My idea of a great outfit consisted of "nature"-inspired pants--neon blue snakeskin print, fake leather floral, spray painted alligator pattern, etc.--with a splashy colored top. I understand that "deer pants" isn't really a thing (haha), but it certainly could be an inspiration. I just have a feeling there's a more...shall we say modest... way to go about it!

A girl friend of mine asked me recently what I thought of loud patterns. I like color, and I like patterns, but your voice should speak more loudly than your clothes! As the adage goes, wear the clothes; don't let the clothes wear you. As I think back to high school, I remember telling someone the reason I wore such bright, funky outfits was that they could speak for me. Basically, I was trying to make a statement with my clothes when I felt I couldn't make one with my words. I'm still a quiet person, but I'm able now to show my personality through my actions and speech, not through what I wear.

Oh, deer! (Pants!) You should have heard the noise these things made when I unfolded them.

My apparent former inspiration

Let's modify this a little bit: new inspiration

My soul pants... done right!

Jacket, Target; pants, Goody's; shoes, Payless; watch, Target

Longing for Eden

"When the LORD God made the earth and the heavens and no shrub of the field had yet appeared on the earth and no plant of the field had yet sprung up, for the LORD God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no man to work the ground, but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground the LORD God formed the man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being."
--Genesis 2:4b-7

There's no profound meaning or theme to this passage, except for the fact that Virginia has been buried under twelve times more snow than it's used to, and combined with power outages leading to a cold, cold house...paradise sounds really nice right now! (I would settle for spring while I'm still on earth though.)

Dress, by me; jacket, Target; shoes, Aerosoles; earrings, mission in Guatemala

How far could these shoes get me in the snow?

Behind the Seams

Dress, $13, JCPenney; T, $3, Target; Cardigan, $5, Ross; Shoes, $13, Target; Bag, $11, some guy in Honduras; Headband, homemade

Picture for a moment a night out at a Broadway play: imagine the scenery, the costumes, the lights, the props, the playbill, the concessions... Did I forget anything? Ah, that's right, the most important part of the event: the actors. The dialogue that propels the show is the essence of a play. Without it there is no plot, no purpose, no reason for props and scenery, no one on which to place the costumes. I'd like to think we should keep this in mind when we dress ourselves. If the scenery appears too elaborate or the props are of shoddy construction, the audience cannot concentrate on the meat of the play; they're too distracted. Likewise, if we do not dress modestly but drape ourselves in clothes too fancy or sloppy, it will be hard for others to concentrate on what we're saying.

NOW, picture the play, complete with the actors and their marvelous dialogue, beautiful musical renditions, and just the right amount of props, scenery, costuming, etc. Do you see it? Now here comes a stagehand, walking, clack clack clack, across to the middle of the stage. He opens up a trap door in the floor for one of the players to disappear into. Here comes another, stomp stomp, and calls out, "Hey, John, lower the rope! Peter's about to fly to Neverland! I've got to hook it to his waist!" Whoa, wait a minute, hold the show. This is not what I paid for. I want to see the people, the story. I don't want to see how they make it happen and what keeps it together. No offense to stagehands (I worked backstage in high school!), but your work should be invisible. This is what it's like to me when I see a smart, talented, beautiful woman with her under"things" sticking out all over the place. I don't want to see it! I want to hear what she's saying, not see what keeps her clothes fitting well. I can only imagine the effect that has on men.

Sooo, the solution? Cover it up! Everyone will have different specifications for modesty, but it is never appropriate to show the straps or where the straps are deliberately lacking, if you know what I mean. I use t-shirts under spaghetti straps, and men's tank tops under shirts that are cut too low down or too far up my waist. Cardigans are my best friend :)

*Sigh* I just want to end by saying that last year, Beyonce followed one of the worst trends of all time--OF ALL TIME--by going pantsless, along with some other big-name performers (Lady Gaga, Madonna, and Britney, to name a few). It boggles my mind how little celebrities like to get away with wearing. I think these awkward, ridiculous ideas eventually trickle down to the rest of us and make their way into our minds, so that when we want to wear, say, a strapless dress or a miniskirt, it seems modest in comparison. Ladies, do not give out free backstage passes. There is one reserved ticket, and to earn that, he'd better, as Beyonce says, put a ring on it.

If you want something done, you've got to...

^"A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies...
She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands...
In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers...
She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes."
--Proverbs 31:10, 13, 19, 24

Front view

Back view, zipper detail

Left to right: pillowcase, pillowcase, handkerchiefs!

A few weeks ago as I was organizing, I came across these most awesome skirts in my "mementos" box in the kids' closet. The one on top I made during my third (?) year of college. The solid black material used to be a pillowcase; the patterned fabrics were scraps my mom had; and the whole thing is lined with material from a white bedsheet. It took me maybe half an hour to make, and it is one of my favorite articles of clothing I have right now. I happen to have lost just enough weight after having kids to fit back into it! During the winter I have paired it with a bright red sweater and black heels. It would work in the spring too with a bright pink or turquoise t-shirt and sandals.

The skirts on the bottom I made during high school. I was much, much smaller then, so I was able to fit into a pillowcase chopped off, hemmed, with a ribbon for a waistband. The handkerchief skirt is probably my favorite thing of all time, made out of two bandannas my mom used to wear as a teenager, with some kind of rope or shoelace sewn in as a drawstring waist. Each of these skirts took maybe ten minutes to make.

I miss sewing. I haven't done much of it since I have gotten married (mainly because I don't have a sewing machine...or mainly because I have young children who need my attention most hours of the day!). Obviously, in biblical times, the ingenuity and cost-effectiveness of sewing one's own clothes was valued as a womanly trait. I love the creativity and artistry it uses (I don't have a long enough attention span to use patterns...those projects get forgotten for years at a time!), and the money it does not use (my mom has loads of scrap fabrics, but old clothes with holes in them or that no longer fit can be refashioned into new styles). I hope I will be able to get my own sewing machine soon and start up some new projects!

If the ___ Fits

So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.
--Genesis 1:27

Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.
--James 1:23-25

Purple dress, $15, Converse for Target; boots, $30, Target; earrings, $4, For Love 21

Bag, $15, Target

I believe that all women struggle with body image. I have not met one woman who loved the way she looked. How sad this must make God! All of us were created in His image, and none of us (so far as I can see) are content with it! We also tend to be our own worst critics (or best, if a critic is good if critical?), and "forget" what our real image is. Our only responsibility remains to exercise [moderately] and eat [moderately] to steward the bodies God gave to us.

In writing this, as I need to heed my own advice (a la Alice in Wonderland), I am either a hypocrite or a work in progress. I have found that the way I dress can have a profound effect on the way I view myself. That is not to say that I should find worth in my clothes, or that anyone should judge my personality based on my appearance (which I have attempted at points in the past), but that I can give myself a little more grace when I [try to] look MY best. Though fashion magazines are generally the last place you'd want to look to help with body image, I have found a neat little tool that shows you how to dress for your body type . Basically, work with what God gave you instead of wishing for other things.

Ahhh... doesn't that feel good?

Resolutions

^"What does a man get for all the toil and anxious striving with which he labors under the sun? All his days his work is pain and grief; even at night his mind does not rest. This too is meaningless. A man can do nothing better than to eat and drink and find satisfaction in his work. This too, I see, is from the hand of God, for without him, who can eat or find enjoyment?"
--Ecclesiastes 2:22-25

"I give myself very good advice but I very seldom follow it."
--Alice from Alice in Wonderland

A toast to 2010!

Blue blouse, $9, Target; cardigan, clothing swap; skirt, Express; shoes, White Mtn.

Back detail of the blouse

After a six-week blog sabbatical due to reasons good (holiday travel, less computer time/more real-world time) and not-so-good (a crippling sense of inadequacy), I have returned in light of my one New Year's resolution: practice moderation (and I don't mean moderating blog posts). I've heard all kinds of ways to "keep your New Year's resolutions this year!" but the only way that I know of that will always work is letting God take over your life and goals. If your goals are His, then His spirit will keep you in His path.

I think it's good to examine ourselves and our progress and make goals to improve. Usually I come up with some kind of all-or-nothing resolutions like don't use the TV or internet, don't eat sweets, clean the house every day, etc. But then when I don't accomplish these things (and honestly, I can't imagine more than 10% of the general population would), I feel terrible about myself (it should be so easy, there must be something wrong with me). This is definitely not what God wants.

I'm currently studying about grace, and with that comes moderation (hello, same root word as modesty!). That means just like God has standards for our living (His commandments), and when (not if) we fall short, He gives us the grace (Christ) to still behold His glory, when I fall short of my own standards, I should give myself the grace to accept myself and hold some sense of self-worth. It is not all or nothing, but a moderation between standards and grace.

For those of you who know me, you can help me stay accountable to this! And by the way, I aim to post about once a week so I don't get burned out :)

Inspiration: Past

"What has been will be again,
what has been done will be done again;
there is nothing new under the sun."
--Ecclesiastes 1:9

"For attractive lips, speak words of kindness. For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people. For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry. For beautiful hair, let a child run their fingers through it once a day. For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone."
--Sam Levenson (often attributed to Audrey Hepburn; as it was one of her favorite quotes)

On me: shirt, clothing swap; skirt, $10, Target; shoes, $10, KMart

Wouldn't it be loverly? On me: Headband, $2, For Love 21; earrings, gift

I discovered my first, and favorite, style inspiration during my sophomore year in high school. We had to do a biography project for social studies class where we dressed up and acted like a notable person from the past, and one of my best friends suggested I "be" Audrey Hepburn. I didn't really know anything about the actress, and I had never seen any of her movies, but Katherine told me I reminded her of Audrey and that she seemed like a good fit. That started my interest (shall we not say obsession?) with this beautiful woman of beautiful character. I have since received several comparisons to Miss Hepburn from others, and I consider it an honor! Almost everything I have read about Audrey would classify her as both modest and stylish. Let's look at a few definitions and let Audrey speak for herself:

Modesty:
1. freedom from vanity, boastfulness, etc.
"I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for."

2. reserve or propriety in behavior, dress, speech, etc.
"Jewelry just doesn't suit me, and if I wear too much makeup, my face looks like a mask instead of me...Put me in furs and jewels, and I look like something off a barrel organ."

3. simplicity, lack of pretentiousness
"The more there is, the less I want. The more man flies to the moon, the more I want to look at a tree."

4. having a moderate opinion of oneself
"I never think of myself as an icon. What is in other people's minds is not in my mind. I just do my thing."

5. of good behavior (Biblical usage)
(From her son, Sean Ferrer:) "The first choice she made was her career. Then she chose her family. And when we, her children, were grown and started our lives, she chose the less fortunate children of the world [when she worked for UNICEF the final years of her life]. She chose to give back." (From the book Audrey Hepburn, An Elegant Spirit by Sean Ferrer.)

Style
1. a mode of fashion, as in dress, esp. good or approved fashion; elegance; smartness
“My look is attainable. Women can look like Audrey Hepburn by flipping out their hair, buying the large sunglasses, and the little sleeveless dresses.”

Audrey Hepburn had a very classic style, which I like because it will (presumably) never go out of style. Fifty years after her heyday, people still imitate Audrey's look...at least I do! You don't have to follow the trends or buy new things with every whim of the fashion world, and you can change little things to suit your own personality and lifestyle. Here is a cute list from the book Audrey Style by Pamela Clarke Keogh about what was typical to "Audrey's Closet":

• the little black dress
• the sleeveless sheath dress
• the white shirt
• a jazzy suit
• capri pants
• a dark turtleneck
• one "what the heck" item
• one killer dress
• jeans, a polo shirt, sneaks
• flats
• the sabrina heel
• accessories: the scarf, dark sunglasses, as little jewelry as possible, a small dog with a wry name, gregory peck

It seems for such the style icon that Audrey became, she had a simple wardrobe and desired a simple life. While she was no perfect person (of course, only One is), she is one of the best examples I have found of a well-known stylish woman with great compassion, love, dignity, and modesty. I can only hope when I draw comparisons with her, it goes beyond my flat shoes and thick eyebrows |:)

I will definitely write more about Audrey Hepburn throughout this blog, as many of my ideas about style come from her. I would recommend you read her biography! She had an amazing story that I won't describe right now, but suffice it to say she was not a typical Hollywood starlet.

The Ghost of Clothing Past

"Even a child is known by his actions, by whether his conduct is pure and right."
--Proverbs 20:11

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me."
--1 Corinthians 13:11

"Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults."
--1 Corinthians 14:20

"I would rather sit on a pumpkin and have it all to myself, than be crowded on a velvet cushion."
--Henry David Thoreau

Me, circa 1990, dressed in hand-me-downs except for my Payless boots!

As a little girl, I loved to wear girly clothes. I always had a dress on, no matter whether I was baking with my mom or digging in the sandbox with my brother. The picture above shows me around age 7, wearing my full skirt and my favorite (and first) pair of high-heeled boots in a pumpkin patch! Everyone else in the picture had on their sweats, flannel shirts, and tennis shoes, but that's not how I rolled, evidently. I was also extremely modest. I remember one time in preschool I cried because I had hung upside down on the jungle gym and a boy told me he saw my belly button.

Then came public school, television, and eventually fashion magazines. My femininity basically remained intact, but my modesty all but went out the window. Now, if you were to ask my friends, they would say I dressed more conservatively than most people around me. When I look back at what I wore, though, this doesn't really say much. The older I get, the more I learn from other people, and the more God reveals His heart to me, the more convicted I become about dressing more modestly again. As Paul wrote, we should be like infants in regard to evil--I should be happy and it should please the Lord to want this change.

But wait! There's more. The other part of Paul's exhortation is to think like adults. I have a feeling he wasn't thinking about clothing when he wrote this, but it can apply anyhow. While my pumpkin patch outfit has the right "intent", it doesn't quite match or work with the situation. This is an example of where I should have used grown-up, intelligent thought! At least some flat shoes would have been easier to walk in, though I could have kept the skirt ;)

This is only the first in a series of pictures that I hope to write about. I think there are important lessons to learn from our past, and since I'm writing about style, I'm going to try to glean those lessons from my own previous outfits. Pumpkin patch outfit lessons learned:

1. Don't wear heels in a pumpkin patch. AKA dress appropriately for the situation!
2. I was going to say, match, but how about: Don't match. Oh, how little children care of what others think of them. We lose so much of that as we get older. If red, turqoise, hot pink, and white with two shades of denim make you happy, go for it. It's not a sin.